Intro

I have decided to start this blog as a way to work through my demons and vent when I need to. I will share a few things about me to start. I am a 31 year old stay at home mom. My husband works in the oil industry and is gone for every 2 weeks. My son is 3 years old and we are trying to have another baby. I am the child of a broken home and a blended family. I have 3 brother and a sister. My parents have been married since I was 10 so my step mom is my mom. I have been married to my husband for 6 years. He is Mexican and comes from a large family (i know its a shocker). I have had my share of trauma and hurt as well as grace and joy. I have some amazing friends who know some of my story but there is not 1 person who knows it all. I have never told someone everything. I guess it is a form of self preservation. It is hard for me to open up to people because I learned very early in life that you cant trust people. It is a difficult lesson to learn and not entirely true. I have come to a point that I realize I need to work through this stuff so I can be a better mom and not pass this crap to my son. I don't want him to grow up with the same fear and damage that I have. It is very scary being this responsible for another life. I always said I didn't want children for this reason. I don't want to screw them up the way my mother screwed me up. My greatest fear in life is to be like her. And I refuse to be like her. I will get through this crap so that I am not her.